Happy birthday lover

Today is my boyfriends 21st... i'm excited for him
tomorrow i'll be flying in to see him for a few days :]
i'm excited to be with him...

i'm gonna bring the bad out of him nd get him fucked up, then take life threatening pictures of him...
I'm excited to "do" him

lol
POW!!!

i need to get outta here

I swear i have nothing better to do than be more dramatic than i already am, which leaves nothing but me picking out all the negativity in things.
I can't just let shit be.. or focus on the good... i have so much time that i actually recognize the bad in everything...
good.. maybe??
bad.. yea it's hurtin some pplz feelings...

not too sure if i should care or not...


on another note.. i didnt go otu like i wanted to tonight...
a life was almost taken from me...
serious shit... got me thinking about a lot...
and as nit picky nd shit as i may be... got damnit the last thing i wanna hear from yu, yu, nd yu is i love yu... cuz damnit i dunno when i'll get to see yu or talk to yu again :/

Ranting... smh -> where is the love?

i'm really torn about you and me right now...
if you haven't noticed by now, i stay on the internet...
more specifically the book nd flappin away wit some twitts
and i like to be high key....
but you're so low key...
i like to show off... and be shown off... i've just toned it down much more..
it's easy to be subtle about it now days...
but where are yu mannn??? return the favor dude...
FTW!
your birthday is in 5 days...
i'll be with you in 6 days....
I wish you would say goodnight to a fucker... damn...
i'm soo not a morning person
just cuz i'm awake means nothing...
i'm focused at night... gettin no love
next week... i wont know what to feel...
but i keep on thinking about august 8th when you left...
i think i'll forever have [[hurt]] in my heart because of that...
it wouldnt be able to happen this weekend.. but there's a chance for some shit over thanksgiving break...
believe me if some shit like that happens i'm leaving yu for good...
was it life changing.. no... but got damnit that aint me... i'm too selfish for that nd i wont change


i wish i could say g'night... still... everyday...
next week will be good... no room for anything but perfect i guess....
i just wish we could see our true colors....
cuz clearly were -not- the same in words as we are in actions...


i'll belive it when i see it...

Lost in the minds abyss

It's been a real long time... about a month to be exact.
A lot has um.. gone wrong in the last month.
Emotional rollercoaster. --> leaves me feeling very ueasy about things.
She whined
She became bitter... nd wanted change
change came.. then a week later. he's not sure
leading to [[a week of assholish actions]] and her not wanting to communicate.
exactly at the next weekend she has been missed
weekend after... they're not quite sure where everything is going... things are up in the air
Last weekend. She tries to communicate, and he fails. She gives up/breaks down/is angered/hurt/and suddenly hit with isolation.
She ends it. He hurts. She doesn't care!
Sunday of last weekend. She gives him a shot... he then gives her 2 days of love showers
by the 3rd day the uneasiness has settled in...
tis now the 4th day...
She doesn't want to be alone... but she won't mind... yet she doesn't know how to let go.
It pains her so.
But why??? when he is not who she wants HIM to be. Askew of what her mind wishes him to be. That is not HE...
Not the first to say good morning between the pair even tho awake he is nd phone is there.
Not the last to tell her goodnight or she to him, leaving someone else on their minds brim...
No funny stories or goofy thoughts, or a pointless thing over which they fought...
just mechanical dummies. Wishing upon the other, the thoughts of another

So what shall she do?? If only I knew